How Should Christian Women Interact with Social Media.png

The outage on Facebook / Instagram / WhatsApp this week was a reminder to all of us that our presence on these platforms isn’t really ours.

Sometimes, we forget that or take it for granted. We post our own personal photos and stories on these apps. We interact with some friends and acquaintances only via these apps. We share our political, religious and social beliefs on the apps, and become upset if we get censored – as if we have exclusive rights on someone else’s platform, which is basically someone else’s private property.

As much good as much social media is capable of, the apps don’t owe us anything, and in fact, these platforms profit from our presence on their platforms, because at the end of the day, it is a business. It is not a social or public good, even though for many it’s become an integral part of life, a resource that helps us stay connected and for many business owners to make a living on.

The reality is, tomorrow the apps could all go down permanently, or the algorithms could change, and then we wouldn’t know what everyone is up to, wouldn’t see their milestones, wouldn’t be able to connect so easily again. We’re on someone else’s territory.

That’s why you’re likely seeing a lot of business owners reminding you that they have email lists, and you should sign up to stay in touch, in case the apps go down again. By the way, shameless plug: if you’re a woman who works, sign up for the Corporate Manager newsletter here.

For me, this social media outage was a reminder of something else I’ve been meditating on the last few weeks: as Christians, we are in this world, but not of this world, and although the church’s call is global, our individual calling is local, first and foremost.

Not of this world

In John 17, Jesus prays to His father, and at the heart of His prayer is a plea on our behalf:

“I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world. And for their sake I consecrate myself, that they also may be sanctified[d] in truth.” -John 17:14-19

Jesus knew what those who believe in Him and take on His name will have to face in this world. He could have put us in a bubble of protection from the world or tell us to avoid all unbelievers and segregate ourselves in every way from the world. But He didn’t. Instead, He went to die on a cross to sanctify us and told us to not love the world or the things of this world.

If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. – John 15:19

So here are these very wordly social media platforms (of this world) and us (not of this world). We patronize and spend time on these platforms, because, again, we are not called to avoid all things secular. But how we interact with these platforms is what sets us apart as believers. We don’t love them. They “hate” our values and we don’t line up with their values.

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever. – 1 John 2:15-17

The Bible tells us that this world is primarily driven by desires of the flesh and the eyes, and pride in possessions. Isn’t that exactly what social media is? Facebook intentionally uses engagement-based ranking, which serves users content that’s more likely to elicit a reaction and helps the company make money. Basically, they try to show you what they think you want to see and react to based on your prior interactions and usage on their platforms. If you’re into the homestead life, they’ll push you homestead accounts and brands.

It entices your eyes and makes you want. To want that dress, that house, that ideal body, the cute lamp, a cute family of your own in matching fall outfits. And in wanting, they hope you’ll follow through and buy. Click on the ads and affiliate links. Buy more stuff, even if it is Christian-themed things.

And here we are, called to do the will of God because whoever does the will of God abides forever. So, how do we approach social media that is so in this world with our out of this world calling?

1.Renew your mind

Last year, Americans spent more than an average 1,300 hours on social media according to a new study from Uswitch. Facebook led the way, where Americans spent an average 58 minutes a day on the app – or 325 hours a year. Younger people spend most of their time on Instagram and TikTok. GenZ users spend about 53 minutes per day on average on Instagram (297 per year). Similar statistics apply to Snapchat. That doesn’t seem like much, but GenZ users actually spend nine hours per day in front of a screen, likely a combination of social media apps and television.

That is a lot of hours consuming and eyeing the things of this world. We become what we behold. You may think what you see on social media isn’t impacting you, but there’s a reason Instagram influencers are called influencers – they truly do influence our desires, emotions, and buying decisions.

When Jesus prayed in John 17, he knew that the only thing that would help us be set apart while in this world is to be sanctified in the Truth of God’s word. And in Romans 12, Apostle Paul writes that to not be conformed to this world, we need to renew our minds. That is how we discern what is the will of God and how we counter the things of this world.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. – Romans 12:2

Sanctification, the process of becoming holy, is brought about when we keep our eyes on Jesus. 2 Corinthians 3:18 says that “We all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.”

Balance out time spent on social media daily with time spent in God’s word daily. That’s where sanctification begins. That’s where we behold the glory of the Lord and become transformed in His image.

In reality, most of us spend more minutes and hours on social media and on our phones than we do in prayer and Bible study combined daily. Strive to shift that balance. It won’t happen overnight but shifting five minutes from one to the other little by little, adds up to eternal value.

Because one of these wells we drink from drive us to into the world and its desires, yet leaves us feeling empty, anxious, and wanting more. But the other is a well of Living Water that revives, renews, and leaves us feeling full, hopeful and at peace. So, let’s strive to drink from the latter more than the former.

2. Identify your triggers and set boundaries

Studies show that social media usage is associated with anxiety, depression, memory loss and poor academic performance. Personally, I’ve learned to notice when I’ve spent too much time on social media because my anxiety will flare up for no apparent reason. Something about the endless scrolling and eyeing other people’s lives and possessions makes me feel off. Instead of recharging or inspiring me, more often than not, social media leaves me drained and unmotivated.

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. -Ephesians 5:15-17

Here are a couple ways to draw boundaries with social media:

Set time limits. I’ve set an hour limit on social media sites using my phone settings, but I have to be honest that most days, I just click “ignore” when the notification pops up that I’ve hit my one-hour limit on social media apps. Nonetheless, I encourage you to set those limits and try to follow them. At the very least, it is an in-your-face reminder of just how much time you’ve spent on social media that day!
Unfollow, unfollow, unfollow. Any account (even if it is a friend or family member) that repeatedly makes me spiral into the trap of comparison or triggers an insecurity that I struggle with, I unfollow. For example, I follow very few fitness influencers, shopping accounts or influencers who promote a lifestyle of lavish travel and expensive clothing. Those are not things I want to aspire to, so I don’t want it to fill my feed. Same with politics – I follow a few accounts that provide political news or commentary from each side of the political spectrum, but there are also seasons when I have to unfollow even those for the sake of the peace of my mind.
Identify your triggers and clear your feed of accounts or people that trigger negative emotions in you. You are in control of customizing your feed (plus the ads and recommended posts Facebook decides to show you, but even those are based on what accounts you follow and interact with, so in a sense, you influence those too). So, fill your feed with what inspires, encourages and builds you up and points you to Christ.
Take social media breaks. Take a day off social media. Or weekends. Or even more extended breaks. Doing that always helps reset my priorities and remind me of what truly matters (hint: it is not social media).

3. Engage on social media as a child of God

The 2020 U.S. election cycle brought out the true colors of so many Christians on social media: there was name calling, bashing of the other party nominees and supporters, and public arguments over policies in people’s comment threads.

But we’re called to be a light in this world and that also includes social media. That not only includes what we post and share, but also the posts/photos we view/like/share, the accounts we follow, how we comment on people’s posts and what DMs we write. All of that should be driven by the following guidelines based on Philippians 4:8:

Is it true? How does it line up with God’s word? What is the source of information?
Is it honorable? Is it characterized by principles of honor, dignity and nobility? Does it take the high road?
Is it just? Is it guided by principles of reason, justice and fairness?
Is it pure? Psalm 119:9 says that a young person can keep his way pure by guarding it according to God’s word, so are your actions and words according to God’s word or are they defiled by the things of this world?
Is it lovely? 1 Peter 2:19 tells us to put away all malice, and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander.
Is it commendable?
Is there any excellence in this?
Is this worthy of praise from an eternal perspective? For us women, the guide on characteristics that make a woman worthy of praise is found in Proverbs 31.

Mostly, consider whether your engagement and presence on social media points people to Christ and speaks of the Gospel. Because these platforms are built to make ourselves seen and to make people like and follow us. But, as Christians, our lives are hidden in Christ, which means all that we are and what we do should point to Christ in us. This applies to social media too!

4. Grow roots where you’ve been planted

In Jeremiah 29, the Israelites found themselves living as exiles in Babylon. And God told them: “Your exile will be long; build houses and live in them, and plant gardens and eat their produce” (Jeremiah 29:28). God puts each one of us where we are for a purpose: the city, country and community you’re in is the missionary ground you have been allotted. Put roots down where God has you in this season.

Sometimes, in the global and online world we live in today, we forget that. For me personally, it’s easier for me to do ministry from behind a computer screen – it is often more impersonal and requires less of me, while also being more convenient with my schedule. But in-person ministry, deep conversations face to face, sharing your testimony to people who know you personally at a local gathering or at your school/work, and building relationships within your local church are often much more difficult, vulnerable and inconvenient.

So, as lovely as online friendships can be and how prevalent the online mission field is, let’s spend more time building and planting roots down locally. Here are some ways to do that:

Gather together. One of my sisters in law is Swedish, and when we visited her family in Sweden, we were introduced to fika, which is a Swedish tradition of having coffee, a sweet snack, and some conversation just because. “Fika” is used as a verb and a noun, and sometimes, Swedes have fika multiple time a day. Because it is about slowing down and connecting with family, friends and colleagues. So, invite people over and fika, just because. It don’t have to be fancy - tea and store bought snacks work just as much as desserts baked from scratch at home.
Note, women are prone to gossip when we gather, so pay careful attention to guide the conversation away from talking about others or complaining. We may gather just for the sake of fellowship, but that time should still be spent in edifying conversation and in God-honoring ways.
Open your home. Offer to host a Bible study at your house, invite a neighbor or another couple/family/college student from your church over for dinner, offer to mentor a younger woman and meet up at your house.
Seek to learn from your local church and leaders. A lot of us are getting more and more of our theology from online sources, but the Bible over and over emphasizes the importance of submitting to and learning from your church elders and local Christian community. So, before you seek advice on a question or struggle you have from someone you follow online or Google, reach out to your pastor or someone you trust locally who has sound doctrine.
Become an active part of a local church. Hebrews 10:25 tells us to not neglect to meet together, as is the habit of some, but to encourage one another. In 2020, many countries went into lockdown, and for many, online church was the only option. But now, to the extent you are able, show up to church in person and get involved.
As 1 Corinthians 14:26 says: “When you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Let all things be done for building up.” No church member should be a passive participant, merely taking, but not ever serving or giving in the capacity and within the spiritual gifts God has given each one of us for the purpose of edifying the body of Christ and sharing the Gospel.
Invest in in-person relationships. This one is hard for me. As an introvert and with a busy schedule, it is hard for me to make time to meet up with friends and people in person. But the Bible has a lot to say about loving others and fellowship with others, especially with other believers. So, schedule that coffee date. Join and actually get involved in a local organization for something that interests you, personally or professionally. Do the weekend brunches. Cook an deliver a meal for a new mother, the elderly or someone who is sick. Take the time to go more than surface deep in a conversation with someone.

Let’s connect more offline than online with others. Let’s speak of God’s goodness and share the Gospel as much in person as we do on social media. Let’s be the hands and feet of Jesus to those in our sphere of influence. Let’s build relationships and plant roots in our churches and communities. Let’s spend more time in the Word than on the internet.

So, if all the social media was to shut down, we’d find that our lives are just as full and thriving without them. Because all the things of this world – including Facebook and Instagram – will pass away, so we should not be attached to them in any way. We are not of this world, even while we live in this world.