This is an article written by my husband with a list of characteristics single women should look & pray for in a potential spouse. - Y.S.

Many of you have likely wondered: “What does a Godly man look like today?” There are numerous articles and books written about this topic, as each writer strives to uncover more of this mystery. Many of these types of lists are written from a woman's perspective, since not often do we hear from guys what their opinion of a godly man is.

When I was asked to write this article, one of the first thoughts that came to my mind is the amount of self-incrimination I could potentially be getting myself into. I’m no perfect human, but by the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, I live by faith and continue striving to run the race put before me. Every day His mercies are new and I strive to continue to be a better version than I was yesterday.

This article gives a brief look into what I have found in scripture and learned in my own life to be qualities of a godly man. However, we must understand that no man on Earth has the capability to achieve God-like perfection. But by the grace of God, we can plant these seeds in our lives, water them, and watch them grow as God gives the increase.

So, what are some indicators of a godly man?

1.He loves the Lord

Jesus was often asked what was the greatest commandment. He would reply with “love the Lord with all your heart, soul, and mind.” He then would add to love your neighbor as yourself. The first characteristic of a godly man is that he loves the Lord. This commandment sets the stage for everything else – if a man truly follows the first commandment, the rest will fall into place in his life. A godly man understands his role as setting a living example.

So, how do you know if a man truly loves the Lord?

A man who loves the Lord submits to Christ.

“But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.” -1 Corinthians 11:3

A man of godly character knows where he falls in the hierarchy that God designed. Notice that the scripture first lists that the man submits to Christ, then the wife submits to the husband, not the other way around. God was before all things, but then He created man, and after that, He created a woman. The man does not submit to Christ after his wife has chosen to submit to him. Instead, a godly man will first ensure his walk with Christ is right before he can share his life with a partner.

As men, we must first know, understand, and be able to show the love of Christ and his sacrifice, prior to being able to cascade down Christ’s love to our wives. A submitted man who has experienced the Lord’s love for him personally, will love his wife unconditionally and sacrificially just as Christ did.

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” -Ephesians 5:25

A man who loves the Lord will actively serve the Lord in his home and community.

“For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” -Galatians 5:13-14

A godly man walking in sync with God will not wait around for his “happily ever after” to fall into his lap. A man who is in tune with the gifts and talents God has given him will use his free time doing what he’s been called by God to do. Because He knows He is first and foremost a servant of God. He’s committed his life to serving God and firmly believes everything else will be added to him at the given time. This takes lots of prayer and faithful waiting, rather than hurrying the process up.

A man who loves the Lord devotes himself to spiritual growth.

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. -Colossians 2:6-7

A man who loves the Lord is diligent in the pursuit of developing a Godly character. A.W. Tozer once said: “An honest man with an open Bible and a pad and pencil is sure to find out what is wrong with him very quickly.” A godly man is a student of God’s word and his own heart. Every day is a new chance for him to become better than he was yesterday. No matter how many times I’ve read any book from the Bible, there is always something new to apply to my life.

A godly man devoted to spiritual growth will also welcome feedback. He knows his strengths and weaknesses. Proverbs 12:15 says, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.”

As such, a godly man will listen to advice and apply it to his life. But most of all, a man of Godly character spends time in prayer. The greatest feedback a man can get is from his Maker, so such a man will devote time in his day to prayer and seeking the counsel of God.

2. He is responsible

A responsible man steps up.

“Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” -1 Timothy 5:8

A man of Godly character steps up to responsibilities. Before taking on the role of a husband, a godly man will evaluate his heart and desire to take on the task of being responsible for those under his care. This does not only apply to putting a physical roof over their heads, but also being a provider of spiritual and emotional support. As such, even before marriage, a godly man will ensure he can adequately provide for the ones God puts under his care.

A responsible man prioritizes.

Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” -Luke 9:62

A godly man knows that his priorities are what’s in front of him, not behind. It begins with the time set aside to build his relationship with God, because that relationship becomes the foundation on which other earthly relationships can be built on.

As such, a prioritizing man knows when it’s the appropriate time to say no to something. A godly man understands where his attention is needed most at any given time, whether it’s in his ministry, family, or work. The list may look different for people and in each season of life, but the characteristic shows the same quality.

A responsible man communicates.

“Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.” -Ephesians 4:15

A man of Godly character knows the importance of communication. He will not slander or speak low of others. He will be open to talking through all matters of life, including conflicts. His words uplift others because he speaks affirmation and wisdom. A godly man does not avoid conversations that are needed to be had. He’ll take the time to listen before speaking.

Although each one of us has our own personal style of communication, learning to communicate well and openly is increasingly important, especially in today’s world that primarily communicates through technology.

3. He is generous

A generous man serves.

“One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want. Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered” -Proverbs 11:24-25

A man of godly character is a giving man. He lives a life of serving others in various ways. He offers help to those in need. His spare time will be filled serving where God has called him to – this does not necessarily mean only in the church, but also in his community, family, and friends. Greed and selfishness have no place in a godly man’s heart. His talents are not stored away for another day, but he uses them for the glory of God and to help others.

A generous man uplifts.

“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” -1 Thessalonians 5:11

Such a man is also generous with his words. He’s quick to give encouragement, forgive, and offer wisdom. A godly man extends kindness to all, no matter who they are. For as Jesus loves us, so are we to love others. A godly man is generous in loving because he extends the blessings and grace God gives him to others.

4. He is humble

A humble man has a servant’s heart.

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” -Ephesians 4:2

A man of godly character is a humble man. Christ walked this earth as a humble servant, and a godly man strives to imitate Christ’s example in this. His pride is not a stumbling block for himself or others, and he sets reasonable expectations of others. No one is perfect, not even a godly man.

A humble man is a teachable man.

“Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.” -Proverbs 9:9

A man of godly character is a teachable man. You won’t need to change him up to fit your mold, because He knows where he lacks and will continue to find ways to improve. He studies God’s word daily and continues to find ways to grow.

This isn’t an overnight change, but over time, the fruits of dwelling in Scripture and being shaped by the Holy Spirit will produce the right change and growth.

He will also find mentors that will help him grow as a man, because seeking out and receiving honest feedback is a marker of a desire to continue growing into a man after God’s heart. This character trait requires a humble spirit and teachable resolve.

A humble man is a forgiving man.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” -Ephesians 4:32

A godly man understands the price that was paid at the cross for his sins to be forgiven, and so he knows how to forgive. A godly man does not hold on to past grudges and any wrongdoings done against him, but rather is quick to forgive and forget.

Forgiveness gives way for opportunity to continue moving forward. Holding on to grudges is a weight that breeds negativity and holds a man back from completing the mission set before him by God.

A humble man works hard.

“The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.” -Proverbs 13:4

A man of godly character is a hardworking man at what God has called him to do. He’s a man of action and shows initiative. This can often be misinterpreted as a bearded woodchopping lumberjack, but what I want to stress is that a hardworking man is a man who diligently gets up in the morning and does what is expected of him day in and day out.

His works are fruitful and provide results. He knows the responsibility that comes with being a provider for a family. Finally, a godly man who works for the Lord is a prosperous man. His daily diligence and continued effort will be greatly rewarded by God.

5. He fears the Lord

A God-fearing man has reverence for the Lord.

“Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe.” -Hebrews 12:28

A man of godly character has a deep reverence for the Lord, and he walks in constant awe of the Lord’s greatness. This starts in the heart and manifests in actions - his seriousness and attentiveness to his life. Because evidence of fearing the Lord will always be seen in a man’s daily walk with God.

“How blessed is a man who fears the Lord. In his commands he delights greatly.” -Psalm 112:1

A God-fearing man is obedient to the Lord.

“For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome.” -1 John 5:3

A Godly man who fears God is obedient to His word. He willingly complies and submits to God’s will for his life. This is a personal choice built on an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ.

The word of God is the well from which flows a man’s life direction, answers, wisdom, encouragement, and so many other things. A godly man yields to God’s final say in his life, because he believes that God knows what is best for him and his family.

A God-fearing man is a courageous man.

“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.” -1 Corinthians 16:13

A man of godly character is a courageous man. His life is not a standstill, but ever moving forward. The kingdom of God doesn’t stop nor does a godly man. He goes where God sends him. He does the work that needs to be done. He’s a faithful pursuer of the things God has willed for his life. Nothing will stop him from living out the will of God for his life.

I had every intention to keep this list short, but I also felt like I needed to be detailed. The million-dollar question I bet you’re thinking is: “So, where do I find a man like this?”. I personally can’t give you a definite answer to that because I have no idea where you will meet him.

But I would start by asking where you would not find this kind of man. A godly man is not a finished product - he never will be until the Lord calls him home. He is in continued refinement and molding at the hands of God.

My advice to you is to pray for God to prepare your heart for what he has for you. Pray for this godly man, wherever he may be. God has already begun making him into the perfect man for you.

So, when you meet him, you’ll see God working these character traits in him and you will know this is from God because all this time, He has also been shaping you into a woman of God; a helper to a man of God.

This article was originally published in Tirzah Magazine.

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